 |
|
 |
 |
|
||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |  |  |
|
Family feuds are like oil and gas. It takes only a tiny spark to set them off and the casualties can be severe. We all know about the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s. They are still in court after more than 100 years in a dispute that began in 1878 over a pig. The Capulet’s and Montague’s of Verona lost their star crossed teenagers in an age old quarrel. In 1587 Queen Elizabeth I and Mary, Queen of Scots were two queens on one isle. That was one queen too many. Hamilton and Burr dueled it out. Dear Anne and Dear Abby didn’t speak for years. Small wars, cold wars, world wars, all degrees of conflict are bad news, but family estrangements are usually the most common, painful and devastating, emotionally, psychologically and physically. The good news is that it is never too soon or too late to begin the small first steps needed to begin the process for reconciliation. If you have a problem involving family estrangement and reconciliation, here are some books that can offer suggestions to help you gain insight, strength, courage, persistence, determination and even the words toward finding peace.
14 listings found. |
 Print this list E-mail this list
 
|
|
|
Shapiro, Ronald M. Bullies, Tyrants & Impossible People: How to Beat Them Without Joining Them The authors have devised a system for identifying types and characterisitcs of bullies and dealing with them by using the "Power of NICE." N for Neutralize, I for Identify, C for Control, E for Explore. Examples of how they analyze a situation and then employ the basic tenents to teach us how we can to get to a win-win solution. 2005 |
|
Crucial Confrontations : Tools for Resolving Broken Promises Violated Expectations and Bad Behavior This book addresses "disappointments" and follows the one called "Crucial Conversations" which addresses "disagreements." To "confront" means to hold someone accountable, but is not the same as "blame." This book offers a set of skills to help in: knowing who to confront and how, preparing and starting to confront, choosing the words and actions, staying focused and flexible, finding resolution and agreement. 2005 |
|
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High Simple language, easy to understand, not boring to read, with some humor along the way: this book provides the tools you need to have a meaningful dialogue with those who matter most-family, friends, and coworkers. It is a basic book for developing skills for saying what you mean to say, for saying what's on your mind, for setting habits of self-reflection, empathy, win-win achievement and keeping mutual respect. 2002 |
|
Firman, Dorothy Daughters and Mothers: Making it Work "For the millions of women who care about their relationships, this will be an important book no matter how wonderful or how difficult it may be. Every relationship can be strengthened, and in many cases, healed. This book provides solutions for mothers and daughters, showing them how to make peace and ultimately transform their relationship." Book jacket. 2003 |
|
Burns, David D. Feeling Good Together: The Secret of Making Troubled Relationships Work If you're not getting along with someone, anyone, here is some good news. This is a book that can help you transform your feelings of frustration and resentment to those of a warm and loving relationship with the people you care about. Explore 10 distortions that trigger conflict; 12 motives that compete with love; 3 ideas that can change your life; 5 secrets of effective communication; and how to put it all together. 2008 |
|
Gopin, Marc Healing the Heart of Conflict: 8 Crucial Steps to Making Peace with Yourself and Others Rival nations or interpersonal struggles with coworkers, family or friends, though different in scale and consequences, have the need to employ the same process to end the devastion and destructiveness of the conflict. The author offers practical and inventive solutions that include 8-steps in sequence: Be, Feel, Understand, Hear, See, Imagine Do, Speak. This is a "Wise path out of even the most hopeless-seeming situations." 2004 |
|
Hintze, Rebecca Linder Healing Your Family History: 5 Steps to Break Free of Destructive Patterns This book offers a 5-step process to help discover family patterns and beliefs that may explain areas of disagreement, dissention or discord. Use of the suggested ways in thinking through and applying techniques may bring healthy resolutions for your familty 2006 |
|
Davis, Laura I Thought We'd Never Speak Again: The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation This book suggests a way to reconcile, without necessarily forgiving. The author uses many examples from minor contentions to major issues of victimization, family dysfunction, polarity of race, religion, nation and even terrorism to map out an effective reconciliation process. She suggests ways to estimate the possibilities of any success, establish rules of engagement, make incredible breakthroughs, and value partial improvements. 2002 |
|
Atkins, Dale V. I'm OK You're My Parents: How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works "In a recent study, half of all Americans rated their relationship with at least one parent as either "poor" or "terrible," and more than a third felt this way about both parents. As we continue to live longer and the parent-child relationship extends further into adulthood, this problem has reached epidemic proportion." Psychologist Dale Atkins presents a step-by-step plan for adults trying to come to terms with parents who are demanding yet generous, infuriating yet lovable -- and entirely human. 2004 |
|
Lieberman, David J. Make Peace with Anyone: Breakthrough Strategies to Quickly End Any Conflict, Feud, Or Estrangement Contents of this book include: The cause of all arguments, conflicts, feuds, and estrangements and the solution to all arguments, conflicts, feuds, and estrangements; How to keep sparks from becoming flames; What to do when you mess up a lot and what you can do to make things right again, fast. The author offers assurances that you can learn to be a great peacemaker, end any estrangement, conflict, or feud and bring people together. 2002 |
|
Adams, Jane When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting On with Our Lives "How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our twenty- and even thirty-somethings who can't seem to grow up?" Renown psychologist Jane Adams, "listens to a generation that "did everything right" and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven't, at least, not yet -- and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships. With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult children -- Stop!" She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. 2003 |
|
Coleman, Joshua When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along This book is written for parents who are alienated from their grown children, whether from former mistreatment, family changes, guilt, shame, regret, disagreeable behavior or temperament. Author intends to provide useful suggestions, understanding and ways to cope with the tensions of estrangement. There is a questionaire to help define the problem, and chapters with exercises and essential principles for healing. 2007 |
|
Stosny, Steven You Don't Have to Take it Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate Loving One This book is geared to women who are trapped in emotionally abusive relationships, women subjected to criticisms, put-downs and rejection. The author offers strategies and demonstrations of how to change the interactions and achieve health and well- being for themselves and their children. 2006 |
|
Tannen, Deborah You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation Author, linguist and frequent speaker on public radio and public television, Deborah Tannen studies interactions through conversations, this time conversations between mothers and daughters. She says, "Mothers and daughters find in each other the source of great comfort but also of great pain. We talk to each other in better and worse ways than we talk to anyone else. And these extremes can coexist within the same daughter-mother pairs." Tannen explains that what was said and what we hear is not always the same. She examines some of the dynamics behind our words and suggests ways to better understand and transform mother-daughter communication to improve their relationship. 2006 |
|
Print this list E-mail this list
|
| Updated: Oct. 2009 © Hennepin County Library We welcome your comments and suggestions. |
