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The kids' guide to working out conflicts : how to keep cool, stay safe, and get
Drew, Naomi.
Children's Fiction BF637.I48 D74 2004

Comments  Summary  Contents  Reviews  Author Notes

Introduction: How This Book Can Help Youp. 1
Step 1 - Open Your Mindp. 6
What Starts a Conflict? What Makes It Grow?p. 7
Conflict Triggersp. 8
Willingness Lets You Put the Brakes on Conflictp. 11
What Happens When You're NOT Willing to Work Out Conflicts?p. 12
What Are Your Willingness Blocks?p. 13
What Happens When You ARE Willing to Work Out Conflicts?p. 15
Basement or Balcony--Your Choicep. 16
Step 2 - Decide to Become a Conflict Solverp. 20
What Conflict Makers Dop. 20
What Conflict Solvers Dop. 22
Where Do You Stand?p. 23
When the Other Person Isn't Willingp. 25
Fake It Till You Make Itp. 26
Team Earth Needs Your Helpp. 27
"Yes, But" Questionsp. 28
What to Do When Your Friends Have Conflictsp. 33
Are You Ready to Be a Conflict Solver?p. 34
Step 3 - Become a Better Listenerp. 36
NOT Listening Fuels Conflictsp. 37
Listening Is Your Path to Personal Powerp. 37
Check Out Your Listeningp. 39
Try the Bad Listening/Good Listening Gamep. 41
Listen So You Really Understand: Reflective Listeningp. 43
Play the "Sounds Like ..." Gamep. 45
Using Reflective Listening When There's a Conflict: Two Examplesp. 47
Good Listening Builds Good Relationshipsp. 49
Step 4 - Use Win/Win Guidelinesp. 50
1. - Cool offp. 52
2. - Talk the problem over using I-messagesp. 52
3. - Listen while the other person speaks, and say back what you heardp. 56
4. - Take responsibility for your part in the conflictp. 57
5. - Brainstorm solutions and choose one that's fair to both of youp. 60
6. - Affirm, forgive, thank, or apologize to each otherp. 62
Putting It All Togetherp. 63
"Yes, But" Questionsp. 65
Be a Role Modelp. 67
Step 5 - Manage Your Anger and Gain Controlp. 68
What Are Your Anger Pitfalls?p. 68
Why Do So Many People Have Trouble Managing Anger?p. 69
Three Secrets to Getting a Handle on Angerp. 70
Decide Not to Get Hookedp. 75
Make Yourself Zinger-Proofp. 77
Protect Yourself from Other People's Angry Vibesp. 80
When Anger Leads to Physical Fightingp. 81
Take Controlp. 83
Step 6 - Learn to Manage Stress and Stay Calm, Cool, and Confidentp. 84
Do You Know Your Stress Signals?p. 86
What's on Your Mind? Find the Calm Confidence Within Youp. 88
More Ways to Stay Calm and Coolp. 92
De-Stress with Yoga and Meditationp. 95
Choose Calmnessp. 98
Step 7 - Be Smart About Bullyingp. 99
Teasing versus Bullying: What's the Difference?p. 100
Eight Ways to Stop Teasingp. 102
Why Do People Bully? Is It Really Such a Big Problem?p. 104
Self-Check: Are You Bullying or Harassing Anyone?p. 105
What to Do If You've Bullied Othersp. 106
What to Do If Someone Is Bullying Youp. 108
"Yes, But" Questionsp. 113
Bullying and Sexual Harassmentp. 115
Choose to Be a Peacemakerp. 117
Step 8 - Build Yourself Up from the Inside Outp. 118
Follow a Day-by-Day Planp. 118
Strengthen Your Courage Musclep. 119
Strengthen Your Forgiveness Musclep. 121
Observe Yourselfp. 123
Observe Othersp. 124
Believe in Yourselfp. 125
Resources for Youp. 134
Working Out Conflicts Surveyp. 137
Referencesp. 139
Indexp. 141
About the Authorp. 146
List of Reproducible Pages
My Conflict Triggersp. 19
Conflict Logp. 35
Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 1p. 127
Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 2p. 128
Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 3p. 129
Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 4p. 130
Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 5p. 131
Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 6p. 132
Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 7p. 133

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