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The conscious parent : transforming ourselves, empowering our children
Tsabary, Shefali
Adult Nonfiction HQ755.8 .T77 2010

Comments  Summary  Contents  Author Notes

ContentsPage
1 - A Real Person Like Myselfp. 1
You Are Raising a Spirit Throbbing with Its Own Signaturep. 2
Parenting Unconsciously Is Where We All Beginp. 4
To Connect with Your Children, First Connect with Yourselfp. 6
You Can Build a Feeling of Kinship in Your Familyp. 9
How Consciousness Changes How We Parentp. 10
2 - The Spiritual Reason We Birth Our Childrenp. 13
How Can a Child Awaken an Adult?p. 15
How Conscious Parenting Is Learnedp. 19
A Conscious Parent Doesn't Emerge Overnightp. 21
3 - Release Your Children From the Need for Your Approvalp. 25
Acceptance Is Keyp. 28
There's Nothing Passive About Acceptancep. 30
Don't Parent with a Cookie-Cutter Approachp. 31
You Will Only Accept Your Child to the Degree You Accept Yourselfp. 35
4 - A Blow to Our Egop. 39
How Does Ego Function?p. 40
The Ego of Imagep. 43
The Ego of Perfectionp. 44
The Ego of Statusp. 47
The Ego of Conformityp. 48
The Ego of Being "In Control"p. 50
You Can Transition Out of Egop. 53
5 - Is Your Child Growing You Up?p. 56
Face Up to Your Reactivityp. 58
Discover Your Emotional Inheritancep. 61
How Can You Integrate Your Pain?p. 64
How to Handle Your Child's Painp. 65
Take One Step at a Timep. 68
What It Takes to Tame Your Anxietyp. 74
6 - Life Is Wisep. 77
Life Itself Teaches Usp. 78
Is It Possible to Trust Life?p. 80
Your Child Doesn't Need to Earn Your Trustp. 81
How You Draw Many of Your Circumstances to Youp. 83
You Can Break Free of Your Unconsciousnessp. 86
It's All in the Interpretation We Give itp. 89
7 - The Challenge of a Lifetimep. 95
Infancy and the "Terrible Two's"
The Lessons of Infancy for the Parentp. 96
A Journey of Self-discoveryp. 98
A Chance to Recover Your Rhythmp. 100
Toddlerhood: A Planet All Its Ownp. 102
Toddlerhood Is the Time to Sow the Seeds of Containmentp. 105
8 - From Center Stage to Supportiang Castp. 109
A Parent's Opportunity for Spiritual
Growth in the School Years
Middle School: the Challenge of "Being There" for Our Childrenp. 110
High School: the Need for Unequivocal Acceptancep. 113
Why It's Important to Resist the Temptation to Controlp. 115
9 - The Insanity of Parenthoodp. 117
The Particular Role of the Motherp. 118
Raising a Child Is an Invitation to Surrender to a Different Pacep. 122
10 - Parent From Wholeness Instead of Your Woundsp. 125
If You Grew Up Feeling You Weren't Good Enoughp. 127
If You Learned to Please Others to Earn Their Approvalp. 130
Were You Unable to Be Yourself?p. 134
"Bad" Behavior Is Really a Search for Our Inherent Goodnessp. 137
Your Brokenness Doesn't Reflect Your True Beingp. 139
11 - A Household Built on Beingp. 141
Are You Aware that Anxiety Is a Form of "Doing?"p. 144
What's the Source of Our Fear of the Present?p. 147
Beyond Living by "Doing"p. 149
The Moment Is Nowp. 151
12 - The Wonder of the Ordinaryp. 155
Do You Revel In Your Child's Ordinariness?p. 156
The Fallacy of the Overproduction of Lifep. 158
Surrender the Urgency to "Do"p. 161
Back to Basicsp. 162
A Life that Mirrors Who Your Child Isp. 165
13 - Shelve Those Great Expectationsp. 167
Honor Who Your Child Isp. 168
How to Set the Bar for Your Childp. 169
What Can You Realistically Expect of Your Child?p. 172
Focus on the Process, Not the Outcomep. 174
Use the Right Kind of Praisep. 178
Realize that Your Children Imitate Youp. 179
14 - Create a Conscious Space In Your Child's Lifep. 183
Allow Room for Stillness in Your Child's Schedulep. 184
Create a Meaningful Narrative for Your Childp. 186
Why Expressing Gratitude to Your Child Is a Powerful Parenting Toolp. 188
15 - Connect to Your Child with Engaged Presencep. 193
How We Undermine Our Attempts to Connect with Our Childrenp. 195
Do You Validate Your Children's Behavior, or Their Being?p. 197
Just Be Therep. 200
16 - How to Handle Your Child's Mistakesp. 205
Do You Really Know Why They Did What They Did?p. 206
How You Can Transform Mistakes into Spiritual Goldp. 208
Celebrate Your Child's Mistakesp. 210
17 - The Two Wings of the Eaglep. 213
A Child Can't Soar Without Containmentp. 214
The Spiritual Approach to Disciplinep. 218
Don't Avoid Conflict-Value Itp. 221
How to Discipline in a Manner that Worksp. 223
The Rule about Rulesp. 226
Why Teaching Is More Effective Than Punishmentp. 229
Acting Out Reflects Unmet Emotional Needsp. 232
Do You Own Your Part in Your Children's Behavior?p. 234
Why Delightful Children Turn into Defiant Teensp. 238
Heavy-handed Tactics Backfirep. 241
How to Execute the "No"p. 245
Timing Is Crucialp. 249
Afterword
Understanding Our Shared Unconsciousnessp. 253
We're All in This Togetherp. 254
Becoming a Parent Who Is Presentp. 256
Appendix
The Consciousness Compassp. 259
Questions to Ask Ourselves
Some Highlights From the Conscious Parentp. 263


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